Laziness and Evolution

Why do we get lazy to begin with?  Why can’t we just feel up, alive, awake, and productive all the time???

lazyLaziness, like racism, was at one time beneficial.  Identifying people of our own race / tribe / community, and bonding with them against others, helped us survive.  In fact, this was absolutely crucial for survival!

Remember that we once shared the planet with neanderthals.  We did not come FROM them… they were something of another species.  Much the way chimpanzees and silver-back Gorillas are difference species… homosapians and neanderthals were different.  Both were intelligent, capable of abstract thought, and lived in communities, but nothing else about neanderthals is known.  Ironically, they may have been peace loving hippy beat-nicks who embraced others with love and kindness… which is why they died.  We were the lazy racist assholes that killed anything different than us.  Hence, we lived.

But “lazy racist asshole” is only a bad thing by modern standards.  Today we would say racism and laziness are bad.  Evolution doesn’t say they’re good OR bad.  It simply doesn’t care!  Evolution has been called the “blind watchmaker” for a reason.  Much like a blind watchmaker, it grabs a random piece, puts it in a watch, and if it fits, it fits.  If it doesn’t, it gets tossed.  There is no aim, no plan, no partiality.  It doesn’t care what piece gets used, how it fits, or what the watch looks like.  All of these are modern human concerns.  Evolution does not care about them, much the way gravity doesn’t care who jumps off a cliff.  You could be the most important and well loved person to have ever lived – you still fall to your doom.

So lets get into precisely how evolution works, from beginning to end.  Lets say we have a species of Yar.  Yar is any old animal of any strange sort that I just made up.  Here goes.

Like in all animals, Yar’s DNA undergoes random mutations, and its offspring exhibits a variety of results.  Think of random mutations as the watchmaker grabbing a random piece and putting it in.  If it doesn’t work, the species dies.  If it does work, Bam! – new variation, and (over time) new species!

Offspring A – has longer legs! Doesn’t help get food or reproduce – it dies.

Offspring B – runs faster! Has to sacrifice body weight for speed.  Bad mistake – it dies.

Offspring C – Is smarter! A thinking animal may hesitate when it comes time to kill or be killed – it dies.

Offspring D – Has claws! Is out-competed by another species that already has claws – it dies.

Offspring E – Is ugly.  The disfigured appearance wards off preditors somehow – it lives!!!

Offspring F – Is beautiful.  Is more attractive and noticeable to predators – it dies.

Offspring G – Is dumber.  Being dumb leads to more ham-fisted aggression – It lives!!!

Offspring H – Has a harder shell.  Requires more calcium which the environment doesn’t provide – it dies.

Offspring I – Is a peace loving vegetarian.  Hahahahahaha! – it dies.

Offspring J – Learns to climb trees.  Doesn’t help get food or reproduce – it dies.

Offspring K – Learns to swim.  Gets eaten by sharks – it dies.

Offspring L – Becomes fat.  More energy can be stored during times of famine!  It lives!!!

Offspring M – Is lazy. Saves on calories, less energy burned, hides from predators in a cave all day while laying around and doing nothing. – It lives!!!

Offspring N – Is hard working.  Gets pounced on by a tiger one day while building stuff – it dies.

Offspring Q – Is loyal to his wife.  Doesn’t help get food and reproduces less often, and probably gets nagged to death – it dies.

Offspring R – Is a complete asshole.  Other members of the tribe learn to not touch this guy’s stuff – It lives!!!

(Note: While you could say “But what if other members of the tribe didn’t like him and left him to die?” – yea, that could have happened, but it didn’t.  That’s just now how it played out.  Maybe the other members of the tribe kept him because they still needed strength in numbers.  Maybe they were a bunch of forgiving hippy peace loving beat-nicks.  Maybe this.  Maybe that.  Doesn’t matter – that’s how it played out.  He lived, and his genes were passed on.  Today, we have assholes everywhere.)

Offspring S – Grows a beak.  Doesn’t help get food or reproduce – it dies.

Offspring T – Grows 4 more arms.  The brain must now build 4 times the circuitry to control the additional arms, and cognitive coherence is lost – it dies.

Offspring U – Invents things and makes society better.  Doesn’t help get food or reproduce – it dies.

Offspring V – Learns to read.  Doesn’t help get food or reproduce – it dies. (origins of dyslexia)

Offspring W – Can jump higher.  Doesn’t help get food or reproduce – it dies.

Offspring Y – Lies about everything.  Deception and dishonesty allows him to confuse enemies and take advantage of them for his own gain – It lives!!!

Offspring Z – Lacks critical thinking skills, and follows whatever he’s told.  Enhanced group cohesion, ability to act as a team, and not upset things with questions – it lives!!!

Now take a look.  We have a species that evolved into a bunch of fat, lazy, lying, dumb, ugly assholes!  That’s because they were rewarded by nature and were useful at one time… in the same way a meteorite crashing to earth and killing everything is “rewarded by gravity”.  There is no “reward” in actual fact… that’s just how the cards got played.  Evolution is like physics – it’s simply a deterministic set of laws that predict how things will happen.  That’s all.  We are what we are because that’s simply how the cards were played.  The things that once helped us survive, now just get in the way.  We are no longer playing by Evolutions rules… we’re playing by our own rules.

To expand on being lazy even further: thousands of years ago, the guy who was lazy was like the noobtard in an MMORPG.  (If you’re not familiar with these terms, an MMORPG is an online game you can play with other people.  A “noobtard” is the idiot who joins your team then screws everything up somehow, or stands there and does nothing and lets his team get killed).  Imagine you go into a dungeon, ready to fight all the monsters… you and 2 other guys on your team go at it – but this one guy stays at the starting area and doesn’t move.

The result?

You all get killed, and he lives.  Then he comes by, takes all your treasure, and goes back to town.  “FUGGIN NOOB!!!”  We utterly HATE people like that!  But hey, he survived, now didn’t he?  And he also succeeded.  He lives, and in evolution, he would pass on his be-a-lazy-asshole genes, while we all got killed and removed from the game (or gene pool).

Being lazy meant you laid around in a cave all day being safe while hard working folks would risk getting killed.  It meant you conserved energy when it wasn’t necessary to move around.  The things that feel good – not moving, having sex, laying around, watching clouds pass by – all helped you survive.  That’s why they feel good.  “Do more of this and you’ll live”.  That’s all evolution cares about.  Just like “matter is attracted to matter” is all gravity cares about.

We still needed to work hard SOMETIMES… the guy who was lazy ALL the time died.  The guy who worked hard ALL the time also died.  That’s where our laziness comes from.  “Got food?  Got shelter?  Relax and be lazy!

Remember though, we no longer play by evolutions rules, even though the game pieces are still there.  Now you know WHY you feel lazy, and you can achieve a higher level of self-acceptance.  You now understand why lazy stupid racist assholes have the market cornered when it comes to evolution.  The “dont question the group” and “think happy thoughts!” combined with the “justify what you do” genes sadly lend themselves to the militant-religion bullshit we now have today as well.  The good news is, like I said, we now have a choice, and no longer play by those rules.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s